On a cold January day two years ago, my cousin Carrie’s husband of 26 years suddenly passed away. Over the next few weeks, I found myself thinking about her almost daily. As February came and Valentine’s Day approached, I worried about how a day like this––so commercialized and heavily advertised––would impact Carrie. I decided to reach out to her by sending her a small gift, mailed to arrive on Valentine’s Day. Carrie called me that evening and tearfully told me how much it had meant to know that I was thinking about her. She said it had been a really tough day at the office, with all of the other women receiving heart-shaped boxes of chocolates and bouquets of roses, and that she had dreaded going home to her empty house that evening. She said that when she opened the package she had found on her front porch, she felt like she had just received a big warm hug.

I was so moved by Carrie’s emotional response to such a small gesture, that last year on Valentine’s Day I was inspired to reach out to even more people. I remembered another cousin who was the sole caregiver for her elderly mother, who never has time to do anything special for herself. And I thought of a friend who, shortly after being diagnosed with MS, was abandoned by her husband for another woman. I sent each of these women a pretty, ceramic mug and some yummy, gourmet cookies. I made them cards, inscribing a beautiful quote by the poet Marianne Moore: “The heart that gives, gathers.” I even found special heart-patterned paper to wrap the packages in. It gave me such a great feeling as I dropped them off at the post office that I had a bounce in my step all day. And on Valentine’s Day, when their delighted thank-you calls started coming in, I realized that it had been the best Valentine’s Day I’d ever had.

In talking with these women and with other friends, I have come to realize that Valentine’s Day, of all holidays, can be a truly wretched day for many people. For those who have lost someone, like my cousin, or for those who are lonely, like an estimated half of the population, Valentine’s Day is a hateful reminder that there is no special, significant someone in their lives.

February 14th is a ridiculously commercialized holiday. None of us should pay a bit of attention to it, but we do. We get suckered in. And all of us––male and female, young and old––long for someone to reach out to us on that day, of all days, and make us feel special. Inside every one of us will always be the little child who secretly feared not being popular enough at school to receive any valentines.

And so The Cupid Project was born. In writing this, I confess that I hope more will come from it. I challenge each of you to think of someone who might need to be remembered on Valentine’s Day this year. Think of the widow or widower you know, or the single mom or dad, or just anyone you suspect of being lonely. Maybe there’s someone who does a lot for you whom you don’t thank as often as you should. What about taking the opportunity to bake a batch of cupcakes for the guys (and girls) at the local volunteer fire department? Or how about the awkward, lonely teenager next door? Your valentine could be from “A Secret Admirer.” I guarantee there is someone in your life who needs and deserves to feel special and appreciated, and Valentine’s Day is a great day to let him or her know. It doesn’t have to be a big deal, and it doesn’t have to be expensive. A card is fine; it really is the thought that counts. You may never know how much your gesture could mean. So this year, I hope you’ll start your own Cupid Project. And it may be a surprise to you that the person you lift up the most this Valentine’s Day is you. After all, “the heart that gives, gathers.”

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For more information about The Cupid Project, visit the blog at TheCupidProject.com
Alison Garrett is a freelance writer and Real Estate Broker. She and her husband, Steve, have three sons, and live in beautiful Valle Crucis. She may be contacted by calling: (828) 406-0038 or e-mailing: alisongarrett@charter.net